Jurassic World, because reboots

Jurassic World... because lets make more money. 

​                It had been over a decade since 2001 when Jurassic World III, the useless continuation of the Jurassic Park series was released. In 2015, a reboot of the series was commissioned by Universal and Legendary Pictures. As well as work from Amblin Entertainment to show Stephen Spielberg somehow is still related to this mess of a franchise, despite him not directing it nor producing it. Jurassic World is the fourth in the Jurassic Park franchise, and unfortunately is the start of the Jurassic World trilogy. Oh, boy now we have two more films to sit through. But, let’s dig into Jurassic World. Teeth and claw and all.

​We begin with this philosophical question. What if Jurassic park didn’t fail? The movie tries to answer this, by retconning the events of Jurassic Park III. After, John Hammond’s death InGen is purchased by Simon Masrani a wealthy man who had dreamed to take John Hammond’s legacy and make a park that he had envisioned. So, by some miracle of no laws forbidding such a terrible idea, some how succeeds. Jurassic World formed on Isla Nublar becomes the site of the park that John Hammond had only dreamed about. Children and guests from all around the world, and apparently all walks of life come to Jurassic World. It’s a vacation paradise, especially for kids. Who are the target audience for the film and park.
 
                The film opens with a dinosaur hatching and eying another dinosaur egg. This becomes a minor subplot later in the film. After that, we go across the world to the US where Zach and Gray, two brothers are going on a trip of a life time to Jurassic World. It is sort of a going away present as their parents are getting a divorce. Zach is the target audience of the film and the park and loves dinosaurs. I can say I really bonded with him. Zach is older brother is kind of a jerk, which me as an older sibling also relate to. We see a scene where Zach is kissing his girlfriend and his dad makes a joking comment. This is a minor subplot later. Their characters are pretty useless and pointless beyond showing what the park could have been if John Hammond had better security protocols.
 
“Zach, we aren’t going off to war here.”- foreshadowing by Zach’s dad.
 
The two kids are going to Jurassic World to hang out with their aunt Claire, who is Operations Director at Jurassic World. But, instead Claire is busy with work and tries to be a career woman. Which is pretty much the sum of her character. She is a control freak who despite being a powerful woman, is sexualized by our main protagonist, which we will meet in a minute. Claire is a far cry from Sarah Harding and Ellie Saddler. Despite being a successful career woman, she still needs a man to understand why family is important. Ugh…
 
The kids get a British Nanny, because those exist still, who takes them on a VIP trip across the park. It’s this part of the film that really strikes at the eternal eight-year-old. I really like this part of the movie. If it was just a documentary with going throughout all the exhibits like a zoo, it probably would have been a better movie. Boring, probably, but would still have been a better film. As I enjoyed watching the various exhibits in the park.
 
Of course, that is idealism. We move to Claire the career woman who is talking to some investors, who we later find out represent Verison Wireless. Again, ugh. Clair introduces them to Dr. Wu the only character from the Jurassic Park films and book to return and link it up with the original trilogy. Wu talks about the Indominus Rex, and that it is ready.
 
“We learned more from a decade of genetics than a century of digging up bones” – Claire Dearing.
 
Meanwhile the boys are having fun, and again I enjoy going to the exhibits. The plot that is building up behind them is just a disaster waiting to happen. In fact, this movie is a disaster movie. It’s less so a monster movie as much as it has more in common with something like 2012, The Day After Tomorrow or Armageddon than it does the original Jurassic Park films. That disaster comes in the form of Indominus Rex.
 
We get a scene in the control room where Claire chastises one of the workers. This is where we learn about her control freak nature. I mean she is Operations Director, its nice that her character trait is OCD, but it is only a vanilla version of it. Although, it is a part of her character it just comes off as tacky and pale and later discarded. She argues with the techie who has a Jurassic Park shirt on where she comments that it was in bad taste. The techie talks about some Jeff Goldblum-esque words of wisdom that will come to fruition later. Well, sort of. We will find out that while InGen was stupid, Masrani Corp is full of loonies that make Peter Ludlow look tame in comparison.
 
Claire goes to the helipad where we are introduced to Simon Masrani who is going to get his piloting license in two days. Simon Masrani isn’t really a bad guy and seems more level headed than John Hammond. He trusts Claire, but there is a fun little scene where he asks how the park is doing and Claire only talks about the business side of things. Masrani corrects her asking about his animals who are in cages and his attendees who are his money makers. It shows a good contrast between the two. They are going to see Indominus Rex.
 
“The key to a happy life is to understand you are never in control”- Simon Masrani to Claire.
 
Claire and Masrani arrive to the paddock and Masrani sees the Indominus and notes that it will scare the children. We learn that the Indominus killed its sibling early on and that it has been in solitary confinement. The dinosaur has tried to escape multiple times, but containment told them to build the walls higher. Despite the danger, Masrani loves the dinosaur and thinks it will make them a lot of money. Masrani tells Claire that he wants an ex-Navy Seal by the name of Owen Grady to inspect the paddock. She apparently knows Owen Grady, and we will soon see why she is so hesitant to get his help. 

​Owen is training raptors like dogs in a massive pen doing various intelligence tests with the animals. He trusts the raptors and they trust him. But, Owen understands that he doesn’t control the raptors and that they are wild animals. If Owen knows one thing, it’s that he can’t control the animals and respects them. He just doesn’t respect people very much. While talking with InGen’s security division Vic Hoskins, a new guy is trying to wrangle a pig, but the raptors attack the pig and he falls in. Grady saves him and shows that the raptors will take any chance they can to take control away from Grady. They are not to be trusted.
 
The kids ditch the nanny who obviously cares more about her phone than her duties. Good one nanny, and good one Claire for showing you care about your family. After leaving her at the petting zoo, the kids go on an adventure across the park. They are called by their mom who is checking in on them. It is then that their mom calls Claire and complains that this was supposed to be a family moment. It gets emotional since there is a divorce going on. Claire continues to meet with Grady, where we get to see some pretty cringy interactions between the two.
 
We meet Owen after the paddock incident where he lives on the island in a tropical single man bungalow. It is here where anything redeeming about Claire and Owen go to the shitter. Claire is his boss and tries to be professional, but apparently Owen keeps hitting on Claire, his boss I must remind you. This doesn’t go anywhere due to Owen’s sexism and where the fragile, strong woman of Claire just kowtows to his demands. Good one movie…  

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​The brother’s bond on the island and are having a good time. We see them at a Mosasaurus feeding time, where it eats a shark, much like an orca at Sea World. They also some what glimpse a T-Rex eating, although we don’t see it. Don’t worry, we get to see Rexie a lot closer soon enough.
Owen goes to the paddock and sees the dinosaur has been attempting to escape. We find the Indominus Rex has a base genome of Tyrannosaurus Rex and other classified. This secrecy comes to bite them in the ass later in the film. They don’t see the dinosaur in the paddock so Claire actually does something rationally and starts to put the park on alert to look for the Indominus. Meanwhile Grady and a few of the wranglers go into the paddock. They enter through a small door. A human size door. Don’t worry that becomes important later.
 
Claire finds out that the Indominus is still in the paddock and was using active camo and attacks the three in the paddock. And, this is where the disaster movie logic comes in. Instead of using the smaller, human sized door they use the larger dinosaur door for some reason. I understand they panicked. But, the dude who opened it used a pass code or something to open it, meaning he could have just did a run for the much smaller door. So instead, Grady and the others escape, but so does the Indominus. The Indominus indescribably kills everyone except Grady who covers himself in oil to mask his scent. Because, again he is the alpha.
 
Back to the kids, we talk about how Zack knows his parents are splitting up. His brother tries to cheer him up. Meanwhile we see that Zack sees ACU which is going to track down and tranquilize the Indominus. But, surprise the Indominus has camo and kills the ranger  team. Grady goes to talk with Simon Masrani about the incident and the latter heads down towards Wu to investigate further.  The kids go on a Gyrosphere tour, which is also a very bad idea. While on the tour we see the very reoccurring scene of Gray the older brother hitting on all the cute girls he sees. Doesn’t this guy have a girlfriend or something? Well, like father like son. No, wonder their parents are getting a divorce.
 
Marani goes to talk to Wu what is in the dinosaur. We get the base Tyrannosaurus, but when Masrani says that “What use do I have a dinosaur that has camouflage”. We get a little bit of ethics debate between Masrani and Wu. All the rides in the north of the park are shut down. But, don’t worry the disaster has just begun.
 
“Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled the gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code ws pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn’t ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.” Wu to Masrani, and the film trying to excuse why my velociraptors don’t have feathers.
 
The kids are the last on the Gyrosphere, but instead of turning back, Gray tells his brother to go on a little adventure. To make matters worse they go beyond the ride. So instead of being able to track the gyrospheres, the kids somehow can go off road with the Gyrosphere. We are never explained how the Gyrosphere moves, just that it becomes a very bad idea. The kids see some ankylosaurs, which should tell you why they are not a part of the Gyrosphere ride as the gyrospheres are made out of glass and ankylosaurs kind of have tail clubs. The Indominus comes and spooks them and the ankylosaurs hit the gyrosphere. After killing all the dinosaurs indiscriminately, it attacks the gyrosphere, but the kids escape. The only way they survive is jumping off a waterfall into a lagoon.
It is where the film becomes a disaster movie. No longer is it a Jurassic Park film. Yes, people die, but die in mass quantities due to the mass disasters caused by one Indominus Rex. It’s like playing Jenga, and one misplaced piece causes the whole thing to fail. Just like the story and plot. Because, oh boy are things about to become weird.  
 
The Indominus arrives at the park and starts killing all the dinosaurs indiscriminately. Claire calls the kids and begins to worry as they are in the gyrosphere and have ditched the nanny. See none of these things would have happened if Claire was a better person and family member. I mean, it could have still happened, but this point is driven pretty hard. She doesn’t really take any responsibility. If the movie wanted me to care about Claire, then the kids would have been killed. Because, at this point I don’t have any sympathy for her character. Especially after she does something so irrational and against her character and goes and finds them herself. Except, she doesn’t go by herself she goes to Owen… ugh woman… WHY!
 
“It’s killing for sport”- Owen about the death of the Apatasaurus in the fields.
 
So instead of seeing that it has already killed dinosaurs, is more of a threat to the park than being kept alive and has killed people. Grady and Masrani decide to send in people to kill it. Our buddy Vic, however has a super villain idea that I also thought up when I was like sixteen. He wants to use the raptors to hunt and kill the Indominus. So not only is this edgy plan full of plot holes, it of course is going over Owen’s head and behind his back while he is helping Claire look for her responsibilities.
 
The kids somehow make an old Jurassic Park jeep work by just switching out batteries. Because movie magic. Claire and Owen arrive, but are attacked by the Indominus and somehow escape thanks to the helicopter overhead. Masrani gets in a helicopter with some ex-marines with a machine gun. But, because this is a disaster movie, this doesn’t work. I mean if this was the anime GATE the Indominus would be dead and the film would have thankfully ended.
 

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​Instead, this is a disaster movie. The Indominus evades the bullets because it apparently has Flash DNA and breaks into the aviary. Unleashing an army of pterosaurs which attacks the helicopter and kills Masrani. He died more honorable than Hammond in both the book and in the films anyway. Because, he at least tried to be proactive and stop the monster his mad science had brought upon his park.
 


















​The pterosaurs then appear at the park and start attacking people who flee into buildings. An interesting scene we see a pterosaur pick up the nanny who then begin to play with her in the Mosasaurus paddock, only for the pterosaur and nanny to be eaten by the marine reptile. It also is the biggest thing in the park. It also has more teeth than anything else. Don’t worry, this is foreshadowing for something that happens later.
 There is this cool scene where a dude takes his martini and runs off. Because, who knows that one guy who needs to get wasted when flying reptiles come raining down from the skies. Its this scene where Claire’s one redeeming quality where she saves Owen from a pterosaur attack. Owen, then ruins the scene by kissing her during the attack. The kids reunite with their aunt and now the movie goes to full blown wacky.
 

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​The new mercs under Security Division Hoskins goes to wrangle up the raptors. Owen knows this is a bad idea but decides that he is the only person who can lead the mission. The raptors are led on using a piece of meat that the Indominus scratched out earlier that has the tracker. It’s a game called hide and seek, so the raptors and the security division go and find the Indominus. The Indominus is hiding in camo, but the raptors find it anyway. This is when we find out the Indominus is part raptor and communicates with the raptors. But, instead of killing everything there, they miss. Owen’s control of his raptors goes awry and now the Indominus is the new alpha. The Indominus escapes and the raptors kill the mercs. It’s almost like they didn’t foreshadow his or something… oh wait.

​The Indominus and the raptors hunt Claire, the kids and Owen back to the Visitor’s center. It is here where the raptors turn traitor and join their alpha, Owen. Because Owen is the ‘alpha male’ in this film as shown time and time again. Again, ugh. The Indominus kills the other raptors. Zack tells Claire they need more teeth. So Claire does something rational. She frees the T-Rex… yes, she frees the Tyrannosaurus Rex. 

​                                                                                                               I'm sure the audience feels this way. 

We only got glimpse of the Rex early on the tour. There is no reason to bring it into this fight except to make this a Godzilla like confrontation. Again, this shows the creative direction away from Spielberg who made the original Jurassic Park to not be a Godzilla film. Anyway, Blue, the beta raptor and Rexie fight the Indominus. The Rex and Blue sustain injuries but push the Indominus to the edge of the Mosasurus exhibit. A challenger than appears in the form of the Mosasaurus who eats the Indominus. It’s presence was at least shown twice and the Indominus went towards its enclosure so this actually makes sense.
 
The film ends with Claire and Owen dating… for some reason. The kids go back with their parents who are divorcing and probably will live in trauma for the rest of their lives. Masrani Global will go bankrupt and somehow we will have two more films.
 
This film is sexist. It’s a far cry from the strong female characters of older films. Claire is just not a likable character and her character changes from strong career woman to “I’m a woman and I need an alpha man” in like a few scenes. She isn’t the only bad character, its hard to like Owen Grady. Yes, he is knowledgably, but overall quite useless. Not to mention he is a pig. Sorry, Starlord no love for me in this film.
The movie hammers this idea of control and that nothing is in our control But, Jurassic World continued where Jurassic Park could not, because they had security protocols, so I call bull shit on that. It’s just a disaster movie in the place of a dinosaur movie. Just like all other films of its ilk, it’s boring and not worth your time. Like I said, if it was a Walking with Dinosaurs documentary through the park with ​someone narrating like an actual paleontologist it might have been a better film.
 
Next week we will switch things up and talk about Jurassic World: Evolution a video game based on Jurassic World and its sequel Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. The latter of which I won’t be reviewing since I have yet to watch it yet.
 

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A new challenger appears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!