John Hammond: Don't worry. I'm not making the same mistakes again. Ian Malcolm: No, you're making all new ones. Jurassic Park: The Lost World or How InGene screws up Boogalo Part 2. We are back with part two of our Jurassic Park review series, and now we get to watch the sequel to the smash hit dinosaur film adaptation. The sequel bastardizes the Michael Crichton novel of the same name even more, but that is a story for another day. Instead, we start our journey on a new island with it’s all new set of problems. A little girl whose parents let her wonder the beach by herself while eating food, roast beef encounters some Compsognathus who attack her. Because, bad parenting. Her mother and father come over, and the scene ends with her mother screaming. Seguing to Dr. Ian Malcom yawning and returning to be the ‘He is Always Right’ guy. He is harassed on a subway, but makes his way to Hammond’s estate. It is at Hammond’s estate he meets the kids from the first film. After, hugging the kids we meet the film’s antagonist Peter Ludlow, a corrupt businessman and relative of John Hammond who has taken over of InGene. The ethics and morality of Hammond and InGene shutting people up like Grant and making Ian Malcom seem like a crazy person starts an argument, which Ludlow promptly leaves with a very cold and business like logic. Ian Malcom meets up with Hammond, where the later tells Ian Malcom that he wants to preserve the dinosaurs on a new island. Getting our first really good Ian Malcom quote of the film, “So you went from capitalist to naturalist in just four years. That's something.” It is then revealed that Ian Malcom’s girlfriend and paleontologist Sarah Harding is on the island, which is the catalyst to get Ian on the island. “It’s a rescue operation and its leaving now.” – Dr. Ian Malcom The rescue operation will include Ian Malcom on his white horse, photographer Nick VanOwen, and Eddie Carr a tech expert. They go over the tech and equipment that they will use on the expedition including a high hide, convoy vehicles, satellite phone, where we see Ian Malcom has caught some of Dr. Grant’s anti-technology bug. Hitting the satellite phone, something that will come up later as a gag. This is where for some reason we meet Ian Malcom’s child Kelly Malcom who comes to the expedition paddock for some reason. Ian and Kelly get into a fight, but it seems this scene is just here to get Kelly on the island. There is a small discussion about Kelly being cut from the gymnastics team, that becomes a minor plot point later on. “Uh, where you're going is the only place in the world where the geese chase you!”- Ian Malcom Ian Malcom and his convoy of researchers, if it can be called that arrive on the island. They hear a story about fishermen coming too close to the island and never come back, almost like this is Sentinel Island, and not a Jurassic Park film. The group arrives on the island and immediately encounters a herd of Stegosaurus. Shortly, after Ian finds Sarah’s backpack all torn up, and they start shouting for her name. Here, Eddie is taking pictures of the group when he meets Sarah also taking pictures. She asks for some food and is surprised that Ian is on the island. Sarah talks about the herd mentality of the Stegosaurs and also explaining the lysine rich diet, which I talked about in the Jurassic Park review. They see smoke and go back to the convoy only to see Kelly cooking dinner. The three of them: Sarah, Ian, and Kelly all get into an argument. Sarah commends Ian for riding here on a white horse, but says that she is going to stay. But, their argument is interrupted by the sound of helicopters. InGene helicopters are seen in the distance. InGene have come to strip the island ahead of Hammond’s departure from the company. Peter Ludlow joined by Roland, a hunter who only wants to hunt a buck T-Rex, Robert Burke who is a homage of Robert Bakker, the best paleontologist ever. (Yeah, I said it! Jack Horner fanboys) InGene rounds up all the dinosaurs and is ready to send them back to the mainland, to San Diego where a great amphitheater shaped zoo will house the beasts. In horror and disgust in the way the animals are treated like a commodity, we find out that Hammond had expected this and this is why Nick was brought on board. The group frees the dinosaurs, and a massive stampede destroys InGene’s camp during a presentation. Just goes to show you, that Ludlow must be related to Hammond as he lacks security protocols. And, yes, Roland left Dieter in charge of the camp while he lures out the T-Rex using it’s baby, but this is not explained until after the fact. Showing even more incompetence on Roland, Dieter and Ludlow’s parts. “"What back up plan"- Sarah Harding "Me"- Nick Van Owen Sarah and Nick free the baby T-Rex who has a broken leg and the two of them take the Rex back to the trailer convoy to fix it. Kelly, Eddie, and Ian all go to the high hide as for some reason Kelly doesn’t want to be around the T-Rex infant almost knowing what is about to happen. It’s like she gets that intuition from somebody in her family? Hmmm? Anyway, Sarah and Nick help the baby T-Rex and are joined by Malcom just as the parents arrive. Sarah takes the T-Rex out and smiles as the baby is rescued. Only for the Rexes to return and throw them off the cliff. Still in the convoy, they hang onto the edge of the trailer when Eddie arrives with rope. Eddie tries to save them, but is eaten by the Rexes in a very brutal fashion. But, his sacrifice is not in vain as the three hold on to the rope and are dragged up thanks to the remaining InGene mercenaries. "Anything else?"- Eddie Carr "Three double cheeseburgers"- Ian Malcom "No Onions on mine"- Nick Van Owen "And an apple turnover"- Sarah Now joined with an army of mercenaries, a couple of paleontologists, a child, a chaotician who is always right, and Peter Ludlow all are now one group. Ludlow states that there is a communication tower that they can get to in the village station. However, he states that the problem is that to get to it the group must go through the velociraptor nest. But, they still have the Rexes to deal with as well. The monstrous group of humans, the deadliest animal, heads into the interior of the island to explore the surprisingly thin dinosaur population. It is quite odd that from the T-Rex scene until the next scene they don’t encounter any dinosaurs at all what so ever. The next scene involves Dieter going to pee, but decides to go way too far from the group, in a woods that has dinosaurs in it. He is harassed by some Compys, but ends up getting lost. He is then harassed by more of the small jackal like creature and is eventually killed and eaten alive. Not knowing that Dieter is gone, Ludlow decides to keep going, but nobody wants to get up. This triggers a funny scene from Nick Van Owen who apparently has more of a commanding respect of the mercenaries get up after he motivates them. Showing that nobody really likes Ludlow. That night, the group is attacked by the buck T-Rex who assaults the camp. The Rex ends up killing most of the mercenaries either by eating them or scaring them off. Nick, Sarah and Kelly head to a waterfall from the Rex. Burke also hides in the waterfall, but after being irritated by a snake, ends up getting eaten by the buck Rex. Ian Malcom jumps into the waterfall soon after. "Taking dinosaurs off this island is the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas. And I'm going to be there when you learn that.”- Ian Malcom to Ludlow Roland uses this time to hunt the buck, and using the tranquilizer gun to shoot the buck down. The remaining members of the merc group head into the tall grass. Ajay, one of Roland’s friends and fellow hunter shouts some iconic last lines, “Don’t go into the tall grass!”, it is obvious that he is an avid Pokemon trainer and none of these mercenaries have any Pokemon to battle the raptors who ambush and kill almost all of them. By the time Ian and his group get to the literal killing fields, the raptors have moved on. Nick separates from the others and will call for help, for some reason. Because, splitting the part, always works, right! Regardless, we see them go through the village and Sarah is leaped on by a raptor, which attacks her lucky pack. Sarah manages to escape, but RIP, lucky pack, you were such a sweet prince. The raptors go after Ian who is in a car, while the girls head into a building. They try to out dig the raptors, but before they can escape through there dig site, a raptor uses this opportunity to strike. The girls climb up the rafters, and Ian Malcom appears on his useless white horse only to be cornered by a raptor who is in the rafters. Kelly, who was apparently kicked off the gymnastics team takes out the raptor and now Kelly and Ian leave Sarah who climbs to the roof. She jumps across buildings and ends up stopping the raptor who is chasing her by playing Tetris with roof tiles and rolls to safety meeting up with Kelly and Ian who have met up with Nick and the helicopters have come to save them. That’s it, move is done. Oh, you sweet, summer child. It’s just begun! As they leave they see a T-Rex male being retrofitted into a steel cage, and the movie will still go on for the next twenty minutes. This time, going back to San Diego for one of the most outrageous scenes in cinema history. We also get to see an actual character arc in the form of Roland. Which is nice. “ Roland, there’s a job for you in San Diego if you want it.”- Peter Ludlow “No, thank you. I believe I’ve spent enough time in the company of death.”- Roland Tembo The T-Rex baby is sent ahead with Ludlow back to San Diego while the buck is put on a ship. Ian and Sarah head to the dock where Ludlow and InGene discuss the arrival of the T-Rex back to the mainland. And, to make Ian Malcom the prophet, something of course goes wrong. Apparently, the T-Rex got out of the holding cell, ate all the passengers and somehow found its way back into the cargo hold. The ships crashes into the dock and the buck T-Rex is now free in San Diego. This is a massive continuity error, how did the Rex get back into the cargo area with the door closed and why is everybody dead? How did it eat the people in the tower and cabin? Again, this shows InGene’s complete lack of sensibility and security measures. They explain it away with bad writing stating that they put the Rex into narcoleptic shock by waking it up. Good job, InGene. To remedy this situation, Ian and Sarah abduct the baby T-Rex so they can use it to lure the Rex back to the dock. Meanwhile the T-Rex runs amuck in San Diego like Godzilla. I find it quite funny that Stephen Spielberg wanted to make the first Jurassic Park, not like Godzilla, but this scene at the end of The Lost World: Jurassic Park is pretty much a spoof on Godzilla. “What’s everybody looking at?” - Sarah Harding “We should’ve stayed in the damn car.”- Ian Malcom The baby lures the Rex back to the docks. Ludlow wants to be an idiot and thinks he can still salvage the operation by bringing the Rex back. Unknown that the buck is behind him. But, the Rex does not kill him, only injures him. Ludlow is killed by the infant Rex who eats him alive. The Rexes are sedated and sent back to Isla Sorna. And, ironically thanks to the San Diego incident, Isla Sorna can become a dinosaur refuge, just like Hammond wanted. So yeah, this movie is well better than I remembered it. As a kid I always disliked it, thought it was preachy. Now, I see it manages to bring nature conservation as the main thrust of the film, and less from genetics and morality. In this film ethics of animals and corporations are discovered, and it does this very well I think. InGene is still seen as an incompetent company, and thankfully goes bankrupt in canon after this film. Ludlow is much more conniving than Hammond ever was, but shares many of the same flaws. Over ambitiotious and thinks that there will be a next time. While in the films, Hammond is seen as a changed man, Ludlow never sees the errors in his ways and ends up dead in the process. Roland actually has a character arc and although people can chalk it up to a hunter seeking redemption. It is the fact his friend, Ajay died and saw a lot of death on this island. These are the Cinca de Meurtes, the Five Deaths after all. Sarah Harding and Kelly are both strong female characters, and are even more important in the plot than the girls from the first film. Strong, independent woman who really tie the franchise together, and are sadly the last of their breed. Because, after this the strong independent female leaves the franchise as does pretty much everything else enjoyable from this point forward. Next week, we will see what some of the best expectations can lead to the worst decisions in Jurassic Park III, Dr. Grant’s Revenge.
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AuthorA.L. Hornbeck, historian, author, metalhead, and all around geek. Archives
September 2018
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